Job Well Done!

I know, I know, I am still writing about my parents....I thought I was done. In the group that I am a part of, we talk alot about humility, letting go of expectations, thinking of others instead of self. It's what can make us better people. I believe it can and will. I was not a humble child, although I was insecure and not confident. Those kinds of feelings can result in acting boastful, angry and impatient. I was also intolerant and easily bored. Taking care of my Mother was an exercise in patience,tolerance,and humility. (I wrote much about that in my prior blog "Turnabout is Fair Play".) Sometimes when I do something good, or take the time to help someone,in those moments when I am able to put my needs and wants aside, I have to think to myself that my Mom was a teacher for me until the end of her life. Job well done Mom. I cannot thank you enough. Or maybe I can by simply doing the right thing.

Wish List: Compassion

I remember how very sad my Dad was when his last male friend died....he kept saying that he couldn't get over that D.L. was gone. I said,"yes,yes..." All the time thinking "jeez, the guy was 93, how long can people go on?" I don't think it was in a really mean way, just not really understanding how deep those feelings of loss and sadness were. I also remember my Mom saying that "When one out lives their friends and family, one wonders why they are still around." We would roll our eyes and just wonder why she couldn't appreciate just being here, being alive. Two weeks ago, we lost a friend who died rather quickly after his diagnosis from metastized melanoma. He was gracious and courageous until the end. My husband had found a good (accepting) friendship. He feels the loss more than I do. We don't have alot of friendships in our lives that are 100% accepting of who we are. Where finances, backgrounds and our own foibles are overlooked. When I think about our friend I have anger, that he is gone, that we didn't get to know him longer. Arnie,I think, has a mixture of sadness and admiration....I think. This weekend we have 2 friends in the hospital. One will be fine, the other at 88, I am not so sure. I think that at his age, he and his wife,also 88 with a fair amount of dementia may be forced to make some lifestyle changes. Which may entail moving them away from being our closest neighbor. That would be a big loss too. I have friends that lost parents and spouses this summer.I have a friend who is recovering from breast cancer, a friend caring for her grandson with cancer, another with a diagnosis of cancer. Life changes. Some of us remain. We go to the doctor more often. We are changing. I wish I had understood more and realized that sadness of loss that parents had and been more compassionate. I am beginning to understand because I think I am starting to go into that tunnel myself. Put compassion on your wish list. It is better to have it sooner than later.